If SM is a part of your dynamic explain how pain works for you. Is it a sexual turn on, a healing release, a spiritual moment, a session of giving?
Depending on kind of headspace I happen to be in at the time, pain play can be a turn on or a release. Most of the time it’s a turn on, but there’s that rare moment when I’m like, “Can you just beat my ass? I need to get this shit out of my head.” It also helps stress relief on the Dominant side of the slash.
Most often than not, I’m asked if I find every bit of pain I get ends up being pleasurable? The short answer is a loud, “FUCK NO!” and the long answer is, “No, I do not soak my panties over stubbing my toe.” There is a boundary between “OMG. YES. PLEASE MORE.” and “OW FUCK THAT HURTS.” for some people there is no boundary at all, and will find any kind of pain pleasurable but for me, there’s definitely limits.
A spanking would be classified as “good” pain while stubbing my toe would be “bad” pain.